Three brothers and a general
by Kadaj
Summary: Poor, poor, Sephiroth. He tripped and isn't moving, and all Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz care about is...no wait, they don't care...maybe Yazoo does...but only cause he doesn't want to get beat up...


A/N: Yep, I don't think "The Ramblings of Yuffie" had enough of the SHM in it. Plus, I still have yet to write a story dedicated to those three. SO, I decided to make a short, short fic dedicated to them. But a short warning…er…slight OOCness. But that's okay! Right? RIGHT? Uh anyway. Enjoy!

Why the hell is this so popular? XD

Disclaimer: FFVII doesn't belong to me. Neither does South Park line mentioned in here

"Sephiroth is coming." Kadaj blinked, sending a questioning look to the silent, but deadly Yazoo on his right. Loz lay near his brother, awkwardly curled up and snoring quite obnoxiously loud.

"How do you know?" Kadaj queried, glaring slightly at the older, suave, silver-haired man. He was leader, so HE was supposed to say who's coming or not. Not Yazoo…

"Can't you hear the music?" Kadaj blinked once more and tried to strain his sensitive ears to catch any strange sounds. A faint, steady tune soon entered earshot of his hearing.

**Estuans interius ira vehementi **

Silence.

"He's full of it," Kadaj replied dully, resting his chin upon his open palm.

**Estuans interius ira vehementi **

Yazoo sighed, gesturing off into the darkness of the night. "Here comes Mr. Ego…"

**Sephiroth! **

And lo and behold, Sephiroth melted out of the shadows with utmost cat-like and badass grace. His chin was raised hauntingly in the air; his eyes were closed in a way that said, "I'm so bad I don't have to walk with my eyes open!" Of course, as you can tell, that was quite a stupid thing to do as he waltzed towards the three brothers…

…….and tripped flat onto his face.

Silence.

Yazoo and Kadaj stared.

…..and stared.

…..and stared.

…..and stared, until finally…

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yazoo and Kadaj cackled loudly, clutching their sides in pain from the lack of breath. Sephiroth laid unmoving, face buried into the dirt and rocks. Noticing this lack of movement, Yazoo slowly stopped laughing and nudged Kadaj in the shoulder. Kadaj continued to laugh, not paying any mind to his brother whom was growing a little scared by each minute.

Another nudge.

More laughter.

A slight push.

Still laughter.

Yazoo growled, balling up his fists to his sides in frustration. He glared at Kadaj, took a deep breath, and…

"STRIFE IS HERE!" Immediately the laughing ceased and Kadaj's hand became a blur as he whipped out Souba. "Calm down Kadaj, he's not here-"

A few seconds later, Yazoo was sporting a brand new bump on his silvery, little, adorable head. He twitched, closing his eyes slowly and taking a deep breath to prevent himself from losing his temper and throttling the younger one. From his right, Kadaj gave a sharp look to Yazoo, sliding Souba back in its hilt. "Now, what is so important brother?" Yazoo only pointed silently to Sephiroth, who, of course, was still lying there. Kadaj only shrugged, at least until the realization dawned on him.

"Oh my God! You killed Sephiroth!"

"You bastard!"

Silence.

Loz only shrugged, walking up to his brothers. "Sorry, sounded right for the situation." His gaze fell upon Sephiroth. Loz raised an eyebrow. "Whoa. Did he finally croak?"

"Actually, he was walking towards us and tripped. He..er…hasn't moved since," Yazoo filled him in. Loz snorted, crossing his arms.

"He's just a drama queen."

"Maybe we should poke him with a stick," Kadaj suggested dryly. He turned his head to Loz. "Go ahead."

"But I don't have a stick."

"Go find a stick."

"…What if I don't want to, shorty?"

"…JUST GO GET THE DAMN STICK MUSCLE-HEAD!"

"BITE ME!"

Yazoo rolled his eyes at the feud, before bending down next to the fallen general. "Hmm, he's still breathing." He stretched his hand out to Sephiroth's side and froze.

"What?" Loz and Kadaj chorused. Slowly, he pulled his gloved hand back, cat eyes wide. His fingers were soaked red.

"H-How could he be bleeding that bad from tripping!" Loz gasped, stumbling back away from the body.

"W-What do we do!" Yazoo whispered nervously, climbing to his feet wearily.

"…..All up for running away and leaving him in the forest say 'Aye.'"

"Aye!"

"Aye!"

"And Aye!" Kadaj finished. The three ran back to their motorcycles, climbed on, and drove off.

Fifteen minutes later

Silently, Sephiroth lifted his head, sobbing uncontrollably. He sat up, clutching something inhis red stained hand; the substance covered his side completely. He sniffled loudly, letting another cry of sadness escape his lips.

"Why did I have to leave those ketchup packets in there? Leather's so hard to wash!"

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